Fear and its twisted ways!

What is fear? Is it this gnawing emotional reaction to the threat of a looming danger or is it the threat of pain. Pain of the third kind, whatever! When is it you are afraid? When does your heart beat a little faster and you sweat? Is it normal to react to fear normally?

Enter a room with the knowledge that you are signing up for voluntary pain of whatever kind. Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual… Everything around you slows down. Sluggishly almost. Every second takes longer if that’s possible. Everything around you is imprinted in your mind.

It’s not like the fear of the dark or of closed spaces or of marshmallows, these are phobias and the last one at that is called Althaiophobia. It is not like the fear of being mugged or being followed, it’s beyond all that. It’s the fear of what you are going to do with yourself after this fear. The fear of never to be erased scars. Scars that will remind you of the fear and scars that will hold you to the thoughts that have plagued you from the moment you gained the knowledge. The fear of knowing. Butterflies in the stomach because of anxiety, nervousness and stress. How much will you intellectualize? How much of strength will you give yourself?

Looking back it may all be over and done with. But what about the feelings that are tucked away? So scary to even be shared. Its crazy, its killing. It’s the fear of knowing the unknown and the undeserved. The fear of a punishment for sins that you might have unknowingly committed. What will you do with this fear?

There is no end to it. It is a swirling vortex of unknowns. There is no turning back or moving forward. There is only the one choice of staying put and watching how this fear will twist and turn and contort and mutate to something else, prettier or scarier, who’s to tell? Life may move on beyond the fear but you will always get a glimpse of it around every street corner, in every mirror, in every reflection. Never to be released from the clutches of the greater fear! The fear of fear itself!

And the best part is no one will ever know…