Wednesday 29 October 2008

Superwoman ME!

There are times in your life when everything around you seems to be falling apart. Well with me it’s just that this happens a lot more frequently, like on an everyday basis. Take yesterday for instance, it promised to be a chaotic mad rush day and was all that and more. The fun part was that I had to work late and then go meet a couple of friends who live far far away. Since I live in the back of beyond and there is some sort of distance that needs to be traversed between areas and of course taking into consideration Bangalore Rains and Traffic, I had quite a joy ride. Halfway home, on the main Basvangudi road, just after the World Culture turning, my car chooses to stop, bang on the middle of the road. It had run out of Fuel and I knew this could happen, in a year and a half of driving around in my red Ferrari, this had never happened. This time it did and the car spurred and sputtered as I tried to give it some life.

I am on the middle of a busy road, stuck in my car and it refused to start. So, I very promptly got off and managed to push it to the side of the road. My muscle power amazed me. I managed to push a car sideways for about 400 mts. With no help. WOW. I pushed it alright and locked it also. Now, I forgot that my money was in the car and there was absolutely no currency in my wallet. My phone on the other hand was deactivated, because I was switching from a pre paid to a post paid, which entitled airtel to deactivate my old sim and not activate the new one. SO here I was stuck with a car stranded in the middle of a road which had no parking and it happened to be bang in front of the bloody Basvangudi Police Station, just a few yards away from the bus stop.

I gathered enough courage to leave my poor red gaddi ji stranded with no company on a no parking zone and I started walking. The best part was it was raining and I was in cream trousers and so I nicely got my ironed and laundered cream trousers dirty and still didn’t manage to get a bloody phone booth. I walked and walked and walked till my granny’s friend’s place which was in the radius of a kilometer or so and called for help!!! Then had a nice dinner there and was petted by aunty, finished that and ran back to check on how my gaddi was doing and if it was there at all in the first place. Enough exercise I say!

All I will say is that petrol came to me in a bottle, my gaddi was fed, ma was pacified without too much drama and I got home without any bruises or scratches and without having to run around policemen and stations!!! Sigh what a day!!!

I walked on and on…
Into the open arms of the ocean,
Unaware of my destination,
Blinded by a sickening grief…
She welcomed me into her,
Her violent waves,
Tearing me away from the shore.

I drifted away…
Lost in a churning blackness,
Unable to come to terms with reality,
Aghast at the heights of horror…
Sinking into a swirling vortex,
Of unending calm,
Her arms, my only comfort.

Home at last,
I sank into her abysmal depths…
At peace now I slept,
For all eternity.
Away from harsh reality…
Serene in the abyss,
Of her nurturing womb.

Monday 13 October 2008

Pain Killers

Does Love understand?
Or does it condemn?
Does faith prevail?
Or does it die out?
Does familiarity breed contempt?
Does anger solve troubles?
Do eyes smile with laughter?
Do words find meaning only in colour?
Does darkness not wipe out the light?
Does depression always end in pain?
Or shall I get some pain killers?

Illusions

As the seconds tick by,
A weary heart smiles,
Knowing the end,
Is now not so distant.
The joy of knowledge,
Death brings, in his stride…
The comfort of non existence,
Beckons…
To slowly drift,
Into the arms of death…
To be delivered to an end,
Not just from here,
But all the worlds…
Heaven, Hell, Earth,
Or otherwise,
What is the difference?
Where is it?
What is the horizon?
Does it exist?
An illusion is all it is…
Life and death,
Tears and Laughter,
Joy and sorrow,
Knowledge and Ignorance,
Darkness and Light,
All but illusions,
Of the unreal mind…

Love and Gossamer

I stood on the edge of a stream,
Gazing into her serene depths…

Enticed and in a spell I walked,
Along her shores I found,
Many a pebble bright,

Lost in worlds unknown…
Wandering through valleys
She led me on…
To a land of the most beautiful kind
Indescribable in its ardor it stood…
Peaceful, calm and serene…
As I walked nearer, everything smiled…
The tinkling of happiness
Filled the air...

So many sights to behold,
So much to hear and breathe
So much to soak in…
As I stood there bathed in his love,
flying with my gossamer wings,
He softly tiptoed up
To hold me in an embrace,
That would last me an eternity…

Empty Echoes

An echoing emptiness,
Loneliness in waves tiring the soul,
Losing ground,

Sinking into unknown depths
A head spinning wildly
In the chaos of the outer world
Seeking comfort, refuge…
Finding anger, disgust…
Craving for a breath,
Being ignored, pathetically….
Darkening worlds,
Stuck in a lonely world..
Helpless and aching…
Slowly slipping
Into an endless void of insanity…..

Little drops of blood

A drop of my blood,
Falls into the ocean,
A million hungry sharks hover…
To bite into the meat.
But where are the ones
That bit into the meat of my soul?
Slowly I am on the road to perdition…
I smile as I walk the last mile,
A green ogre waits for the kill,
For the sharks to tear me apart,
It amuses me, this need for power,
This hungry, menacing desire,
The desire of a man to destroy,
The need to break even…
For what? Why? How?