My PVR Jinx

The need or desperation to write is such that i have to sit at a go and pour my heart out. Even if it means that it is at midnight and sitting in a room that seems to be infested with red ants that crawl from outside the balcony, through the gap under my door, slowly the line building and climbing up my computer table and then the wall and finally the window that i sleep next to, creeping behind the curtains. But i have to write even if it means from a table with ants crawling around the keyboard and on it and with no idea where i will sleep because this room is now scary to even rest in. A pain gnaws into me and that is probably whats egging me to write.

Oh i also saw The dark night twice a couple of weeks ago at PVR. I was comfortably late so i managed to miss ten minutes of the movie. Hence as i had to atone for this incongruous sin I had to go back and watch it the next day. Then began the beginning of this crazy mad myre...

When this week started, i thought it will be my normal not so eventful week, just the monotonous, mechanized office, yoga, work or the office, tuition and work. It was far from that.

I strayed away completely from what i was planning to talk about, yes my PVR jinx. On Tuesday, the boys called me out for lunch to forum. By boys i mean Prashanth and Abu. They asked me to meet them at 11 but i landed there at 12 30 and they had to go watch a movie at 12 45 so they were slightly cheesed off coz i had stuck to my standard turning up late thanks to the work that keeps me on my toes constantly. So i end up there and they drag me into a movie. I am carrying my bag and in it lies my camera and in the case lie batteries. This movie thing happened very unexpectedly. I got an exchange of the two tickets these goons had bought with three and i stepped in. Then the whole being frisked business happened and i had to give in my batteries to the girl there. I went in and watched mumbai meri jaan and came out feeling really good coz it was a very well made film. I stepped out smartly and rushed back to work just being slightly strayed by my wandering brother's appearance at Forum. Then we managed to get out of there and i managed to get back to work. I reached office and realised that i had left the batteries at the theater and i had way too much to be done to get back the same day. So, on Thursday i set out again to get the batteries. I spent a good hour waiting and checking as they traced it for me. Abu was my constant source of support through the ordeal and my tolerance levels were maintained thanks to him. From there i got back fortunately a little less careless hopefully.
And i thought i was done with the madness of roaming the PVR cinemas. No not happening! It was destined that i end up again at PVR on Friday to buy tickets for Rock on, after the whole darn process of finding parking and all that stuff, i went to the freakin PVR Cinemas again and did not get tickets for the ten o clock show as it was sold out! Thankfully the PVR jinx was broken. i didn't have to come back for the movie at ten.
But it didn't end there with the jinx, i went to i-nox for the tickets and there was only the 7 o clock show so i guessed all these seven and half Saturn things are just bull oz once you are jinxed you are jinxed in more ways than one.

The Ring of Joy, or should i say stud!

A change was desired… It was a very adamant desire that refused to listen to logic or reason. The change was wanted and I had to get it. ‘Act on Impulse’ was the message transmitted across various neurons in my brain and that was exactly what I did, I acted on the impulse.

A trip to the beautician for a gunshot! A gunshot that would probably disfigure my nose forever. But who cared! I wanted to pierce my nose and I wanted to do it because of the very reason that I am needle phobic. Extremely. To acknowledge my new job, I got my ears pierced with a two week gap between each ear because I didn’t have the strength to go through with both ears at once. So one ear happened before I joined work and the other two weeks later. This is probably why I have chosen to wear a ring in one year and a stud in the other. Oh by the way I already had earrings but I wanted the next level also to be pierced.

Coming to my nose stud! I went to Aunty with Pallavi and I sat all prim and pert in the chair as stiff as the stiffest I could ever be. Ready for the needle to pierce through layers of my skin. It was a moment stuck in space and the thunderclap of the gun at work was resounding. The pain was very endurable. I walked out confidently with aunty telling me I’m a strong girl for not having felt queasy or weak.

As I walked I didn’t realize that the big blue stud not only looked funny but also was sticking out and the back stopper thingy had fallen off. I got back to the office and got a few extremely smart ass comments about my nose. Pavi lost her mind and yelled at me for having ruined my cute little nose and went ballistic about it. She just refused to believe that it could be remotely nice.

I could not stop laughing and I realized that there was something wrong. The stud was not entirely in place, the back stopper thing had fallen off and it had not even pierced through all the layers of skin so it was a disaster. I took off the stud and went to her again and she said a jeweler would do a better job coz all he had to do was just pierce it through entirely.

I was waiting for the one jeweler in the whole locality who would do the job and do it well, but his store was locked up and I was getting late for a movie so I left. Since it is not in my nature to give up easily, I turned up again after the film and he was open.

I left Pallavi in the car and walked in and sat down to the ordeal I had chosen to put myself through. He lifted this large fat iron needle with a hook and asked me not to look. I wanted it on my right as against the left convention so he marked another spot coz the previous one was not placed properly and I picked out a diamond stud for the cause. I shuddered at the thought of that big a needle being forced into my nose, and by the time I could say a word, it was in through the layers and I felt like these people with rods through the skin, the ones that have prayed for something and do this for God. It really was a fat rod. He screwed in the stud in place and I was done! I was in super pain. It hurt like crazy and my whole right side was numb with pain. I went back and Pallavi really liked it.

Later, some people didn’t even notice it and it took a while for my mom to see it. The final verdict from Ma was that I look like an adiwasi and I look five years older than I actually am. Granny was aghast. And I like it!
The pain was well worth it and its paining still, but I love it and now I know I can muster enough courage to actually sit thru it and now I don’t fear fat needles at least when they are puncturing my skin. So now, I ended up with a swollen nose and pain on my right side and a hurting right hand thanks to the rude doctor who said that my constant chatter irritated him and poked me hard with the Tetanus shot, I still think it was well worth all the trouble, even ma and granny yelling at me was worth it! So thanks to it all, I am a better human being, my endurance levels are higher and I am prettier! Lol! So check me out with my nose pin!

I guess that is what matters ultimately, that I like it! And now I am not alone anymore, my diamond laughs and flashes at me from my nose and I feel the flashes smile with me! So until next time, I’ll flash a laugh! ;)

Life as I see it and as it sees me…

The permanent temptation in life is to confuse dreams with reality; the permanent defeat in life comes when dreams are surrendered to reality…

What defines a human, the person he or she is? Is it their past, is it their work, their family, their relationships, their present or their future? Maybe it is an encapsulation of it all. But I am defined by my dreams, more than anything else. I believe that I live in a utopian world that is peerless and pure… So what if that is the biggest lie I live in? It gives me the strength to live and I guess bottom-line that is what you need in this world… Strength and Courage…

This for not being yourself but for being fake and changing avatars every day with everyone, because the real world does not really appreciate simple, straightforward, sincere - honesty of speech, thought and action. This is a lesson I have learnt and multiple times at that, so here is when my alternate reality comes into the picture, the world of the mind, body and soul, all in conjunction, building together multiple worlds of reality so pure, it can only exist out of bounds of everything else and everyone else.

If sorrow is something you have to deal with, or if it is a mental agony, switch off from the unreality of the real world and bind yourself to the reality of the worlds that you have created.

Philosophy apart and the Freudian theories of Eid, Ego and Super ego apart, although I do think at this phase of life that I lead I am more of the Eid and the child than anything else… I am a human, a part of this world of its good and it’s bad… Like black on one hand and white in the other but grey otherwise… The blend of darkness and light of blackness and white.

5 minutes, is what I get to recount a lifetime of me… And I know I won’t even be done with five seconds of it here, but all I can promise is an insight into the mind of a fellow human being, however weird.

The naughty mischievous quicksilver that I was, floating away from one thing to another, from one world to another, a zillion hobbies and interests everything that has captured my fleeting attention has gotten a fair amount of my time and energies vested in it. Falling in love with a new interest every week, from jigsaws to clay modeling to singing, tried it all. The only ones that have remained endearing and faithful and have grown as my strengths are my writing, yoga and dancing. All else has taken a backseat, but nothing is permanent but for change so I guess a second revisit to all my lost loves will happen cyclically, as to my fancy.

Education was something I took to very earnestly and easily like everything else and I am surprised it kept my attention for all of the 22 years I went through it. Surprisingly enough boredom did not set in as easily and I actually managed to be the geeky fairly well performing student in spite of the various trials and tribulations I put my mother through. Even to this day I am told I managed to do well because I picked out the ones I was good at and left the others for the rest. According to me that was the smartest move I ever made.

Three degrees and a hosh posh of all small courses and other classes, mirroring my confusion and the desire to try everything I had an interest for… Work wise again, the desire for multitudes persevered and so I have to work even now on my voice over’s, my anchoring, my writing, my dance, my theater and my events and of course my communication. The deal is, if you are good at something why not work on it? I will not talk about future dreams and hopes because that will be putting a boundary to life and what it shapes up to be, but I will say watch out for a voice that speaks to you from far away in the future, that might faintly resemble mine and recapture moments spent and memories cherished of a life that was shared even but if briefly.

I live in a world of mixed colours and emotions and I love every second of it, the good or the bad, is enriching and ethereal, like Gaea the soul of the earth multiple worlds packaged into just one small package – Me. I have so much more to say as usual, and I know I am the most vocal of them all and this is not by far the last you will hear from me, but it was a fair chance to be able to share snippets of a life beyond the walls of life and existence.

If you ever see a book by Shreya Krishnan on the stands, pick it up and read it, coz one thing it will be is a mixed bag of everything just like the person that wrote it