A Ticking Time Bomb

I didn’t notice the change,
The shadow of pain as it lingered,
I smiled yet again attempting to feign,
A fake happiness pretending,
That life is a ball game and I won.

What is loss or gain I wonder,
Everything is now a dull grey,
The smiles are watery strands,
Of a sorrow running deep,
Blocked in its path and stoppered.

I laugh some more now mocking,
The twists and turns that surface,
I like a time bomb ticking,
Wait for the next big hit,
They come crashing down at once.

Ready for the kill they descend,
Back to back ceaselessly they fall,
They drain me slowly of my strength,
My anger they use to hurt me more,
Watching in glee as I lose yet again.