25 Things

I have been reading a lot about these 25 things. I haven’t gotten down to penning mine down yet. But there is something more pressing at the moment now:

25 things to watch out for:

My tryst with the Kitchen
If you thought that dealing with incompetent people was the last straw, think again! Welcome to the land of living vegetables and non living utensils. Veggies don’t pay any heed to you or your deadlines, you have to bow down to them and go by their rules, or its game over! As for utensils, beware they are like ghosts from your past, they might just sense your fear and strike at it! Next thing you know you have all clanking and noises as they are strewn all over, not coz you dropped them but because they decided to fall, just to get back at you.

Do not be obsessive compulsive, every speck every oil stain will give you nightmares forever and also you will end up spending so much time washing up, you will never leave!

Oh! Don’t wring your hands after you wash them into the floor, or you will end up cleaning and mopping the floor.

Do not wipe your hands on either sides of your dress, over the years all your clothes that you wore to the kitchen will have a very obvious designer look to it, designed by your wiping.

I wash and wipe my hands every five minutes when I am in the kitchen, it does not help, and the next minute it goes all messy again. At the end of it you are left with grazed, skin peeling, burning, and rough hands as opposed to the nicely creamed and soft glowing ones you possessed before your tryst with the kitchen.

Do not over load a mixer ever! The results of such a mishap can be ghastly.

Deserts are less hot as compared to the kitchen and cooking by the fire. Dress accordingly, just an apron won’t help if you are accident prone, it will only scorch your skin faster!

Onions are very very pungent and will not only make your eyes water like crazy but you can tell if someone cut onions weeks ago by the amazingly horrendous odour it leaves on the hands no matter what goes on after that. Oh and they are supposed to be aphrodisiacs, and this is not something I learnt in the kitchen ;)

Lick your hands if you are making fruit salad. As in finish one round of cutting up one fruit and lick. Wash, cut, lick… Now that’s the mantra for yummy feelings between meal times and fruit times. Pop dates into your mouth as you cut them up and add them, lick. Lick your hands after you have shredded the chocolate into the mix, Lick up the ice cream after most of it has gone into the fruit concoction! You might add weight to the waist line, but what the heck! The kitchen drains one and saps one of their energy you see!

The enzymatic activity in vegetables is so fast, they race to go rotten! So beware of when you got them and where you put them or you will have to deal with the stench.
Water takes a looong time to start boiling and potatoes take even longer to be fully boiled.

Fix leaks on the taps you don’t want to be in a flooded kitchen.

Cover all traces and tracks of the existence of food, or rats, roaches and other pests may get to it or into your house because of the kind of food there.
Do not use your thumbnail to cut through anything, if you do be prepared for excruciating pain, I will feel like the nail is coming off.

And the reason there are only 15 things here is because I took a break from venturing into the kitchen! Phew!