Sometimes you want to break off into the unknown, away from the real world. Where everything seems to come in shapes and sizes that are not comprehendible and small little things confuse you. The mind plays games of what to see and what not to dwell on. Everything becomes a myriad mix of vague and vivid images that dart in the spaces of the soul. This is so amazingly mixed up and there is no pattern to the madness of the dreariness and futility you feel after.
After what? Now, that would be the most logical question that follows. But did madness ever adhere to logic or practicality? Technically no one is mad until stated to be so or studied and then confirmed as an insane individual. But we are always stuck on the verge. The thin line between madness and sanity, one small push and you will land up in la-la land.
After nothing. Because after you reach the stage of after there is nothing. Everything you have left behind just becomes a standstill image from your past. Images that are strung together and played in the head with a constant rewind and forward pattern, or images that are pushed so far into the back alleys of the mind and are forced to be left that way. Untouched and trying hard to forget and reach a state of no reminiscences. A state where no matter how hard you try you cannot remember the entirety because you have chosen to dole out the thoughts and images tied to that memory. A state of unconsciousness, even unconscious of the struggles we undergo to forget the past.
We often believe the truth to be a fact. But the truth never is a fact. Far from it actually. The truth is what we make each one of our selves believe what the fact is. We all perceive differently so truth with this one factor becomes relative to each and every individual. We build our personal truths based on our opinions and the way we chose to respond to a certain activity that occurred in our lifetime. The only real truth is that there is no one single truth. The truth is as varied as we are.
It’s a mind warp. This state of believing and non-believing. It is in a sense as unreal as reality. The more I see into reality, the more I see the opportunity of alternate reality. Of parallel universes and of real things being as unreal as they are real and vice versa. So the deal ia there is no absolutes, there is no single truth, there is no real reality, everything is a projection of time spinning away and the universe continuing to be balanced in an unexplainable equilibrium.
2 comments:
That was really heavy! Don't think so twisted girl :( But, as always, love the way you write... and how you manage to pen down what's in your brain so well!
Hugs!! Feel better! Miss you!
Sounds like you are really hurting badly.
Time is a healer but don't leave it to just time. That will hurt more. Just don't suppress it like you say in your blog. There will be days you hurt more.
Instead talk about it with the person/people that care. I promise it will make a positive difference.
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