Links to my life

I feel older, serious, stiff necked, I think my madness is shifting focus, the bigger things are taking up my time and attention and I am panicking. I wonder how well age catches up, things change perspective and colours change hues.

I was wondering what made me feel this way, disgruntled and unhappy, in a way incomplete even. It came to thinking of things I haven’t done in a really long time:

Torn up paper into tiny little bits and blown them out into the wind, just to watch them flit and flutter and fly with the breeze…
Danced nonstop, oblivious to the world and people watching me. Danced, till my legs hurt in their high heels and sweat dripped down my body, till my breath felt like it was wedged deep inside me and refused to surface.
Jumped in every little rain puddle and got drenched as the rain pelted down and hit every square inch of my body.
Laughed at silly jokes till tears rolled down my cheeks and I rolled on the floor holding my aching sides and trying to stop till I could no longer move with laughter cramps.
Played with little dew drops as they clung to leaves and surfaces and watched them glisten in the sunlight. Shaking up trees after the rains so all the raindrops would fall onto me.
Opened out my arms wide and spun around in full speed till I was dizzy and it felt like the whole world was reeling and spinning and I was the only stationary object around.
Lazed and did nothing for days on end, just reading, watching old cricket matches for the umpteenth time, watching all sorts of movies on HBO and Star Movies, dreaming on my swing as I watched the sky aimlessly.
Star gazed till dawn lying on my tank on the terrace as I followed Orion and Great Dipper on their journeys across the universe.
Gone swimming to far off resorts and farms and dipped and played in the water and swum around till the sun came down.
Climbed trees and trekked across impossible cliffs and mountains discovering beauty with every branch and every curve in the roads I made for myself.
Taken off alone into a park with a book and sat under the whispering trees in the breeze and reading as I fell in love with the characters and authors who filled up my imaginary worlds.
Tripped on air. Chased the rain, Jumped in sand pits, baked mud pies, and all these things that I wish I could do right away and instantly gratify my desire to reclaim a life that has passed swiftly by…