Facade

A smile I muster,
With my heart cringing,
Surrendering to an angst,
How alone and lonely I am now,
Only I can concede to,
The pain grows on me,
The fits of anger become me,
I despise myself for things,
I have done and undone,
I spare no self pity or sympathy,
I deal with myself now,
With an alien hand,
I don’t feel or breathe,
Easily anymore,
Even tears refuse to yield,
Unnerved and despairing I squirm,
In an existence futile,
A pathetic excuse of a life,
Hysteria and mocking laughter lurk,
Just under the surface
Waiting to pounce,
At the slightest incite,
A tempestuous mix of emotions,
Pushing the borders of insanity,
I wait for a darkness that eludes,
And evades my beckoning calls,
To enter a hollow emptiness,
Where everything is numb,
Feeling and emotion alike,
I want to plummet down,
Into a deep slumber,
To stop it all at once,
This cycle of pain,
And the waves of fatigue,
Succumb to it all,
And perish at once…